I've decided I need to start a cult. A cult following is precisely what my life requires at this time. I figure I just need some land in Montana or something and I need to build the "compound". The problem is funding. When people join a cult they usually give up all their worldly possessions and money to the cult right? This way am I better off to just subjugate a wealthy Montana landowner, or a number of peons of lesser status who I can use as slaves to build my cult empire? I also need a focus for my cult. What are we about? Are we prophesying doom, gloom or perhaps a healthy combination of the two? How am I to handle the ritual suicide at the end? I mean poison koolade has already been done. Maybe I could just have everyone just dig their own grave, or a giant mass grave then upon completion just lie down inside. Then I could just drive a backhoe over the top filling them all back in. That would certainly make cleanup a breeze, but I suppose being buried alive is a harder sell than poison koolade. If I just shoot everyone in the head that just becomes a mass murder, and I'm sure once the first few shots are fired people will lose their nerve for the ritual. Then I'd be forced to hunt them through the compound, and while this healthy competition may be enjoyable to start there is always the chance they may somehow arm themselves too. That would take all the sport out of it.
The moral of the story is I need to figure out a way to convince a lot of people, or one really rich person to give me everything they have, and then let me kill them.
I'm open to suggestions on this one.
Monday, May 26, 2008
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