What happens when you run out of rope?

Today I used the expression "at the end of my rope" and I got to thinking what happens when you are then pushed further past the end of this proverbial rope? Tonight that's how I felt. Like I was hurdling through space trying to find my rope. I'd have given my left nut for just a handful of rope. Why am I feeling like this you ask? Well even if you didn't ask I'm going to tell you anyway.

Tonight I was written up for poor job performance. It seems this was the second time I've been written up for inability to perform my job duties beyond the ability of a retarded rhesus monkey. The worst part is I wasn't even high, or drunk or recently either. I came to work reasonably well rested, and fed with the intention of doing a good job. Somewhere between walking in the front door, and dealing everything just went to shit.

Now anyone who knows me knows I have a bit of trouble focusing on anything for an extended period of .... hey look something shiny. I've never been tested for ADD, but maybe that's part of the reason I did so poorly in school. I'm sure my shitty work ethic, and excessive laziness didn't help either, but I seriously do have concentration issues. These issues are not a problem when I am dealing blackjack, or poker etc because well these games are mindless, and I am really fucking good at my job. This allows me to shut my mind to the pain, and deal for the eight hours required of me. Alas craps does not work this way. There is a very good reason why craps is considered the highest skill set in the casino industry, and I get paid 3.50 an hour more to deal than the chaff.

This also means there is more pressure on me to perform at the very least to acceptable standards. Even more for me because I am not coded to deal anything else in my casino, so I get all my shifts in craps which dealers with years more seniority than me don't get. Then I get nights like tonight where I am a complete retard, and I get written up. I was told the next time I will be formally written up which is actually quite serious.

All in all it was a pretty shitty night for me. My hands hurt too. I'm gonna have wicked arthritis when I'm older.